Adyashanti has spoken of this often. When we experience a new opening to Spirit, there is the feeling "I could never forget this! It's so obvious! All I need to do is live blissfully in this awareness of oneness forever!"
Well, that's not usually how it goes.
I realize now, looking back at this last "big stretch" that the mind/body/bungee cord simply came to the end of it's arc. There had been three months of expansion; oneness being realized, living, breathing and moving through this form known as Steven.
Then the contraction began. Subtle at first. Just a hint of doubt. A little fear. Then a bout of anger. It was so obvious what was happening, but God it felt real. And I couldn't stop it. Even though I knew the bungee-cord effect was occurring, it didn't help. In fact it made it worse. "I know better than this! What am I doing here again? Stuck in separation, fear, and lack? And it felt worse than ever because there was a sense that I had failed in some way.
It all happened so spontaneously. My dear friends Zeric and Lynda were over last night. I put on some music and the three of us just started dancing ....touching...connecting....not sexual....just so "right here". And I realized the gift of these last few weeks.
I had been humbled. Everything felt a bit more real. I was meeting these amazing beings once again for the first time. Straight on.....with a deeper appreciation for the uniqueness of each one of us....our gifts...our challenges...our hands reaching ...toward each other...toward the ceiling.....toward the light.